Of nobodies and somebodies..

Know those times when you do not have the energy even to cry? Anything and everything seems determined to go against you. Partner, family, job… Seeing some friend’s smiling profile on FB, hearing about your second cousin’s latest bundle of joy, seeing a relatives status update posted holidaying in some exotic place… Everything slowly and exquisitely drags you towards the realisation of your absolute failure in… Failure in everything, of course. Thoughts of ending one life suddenly stop terrifying you and become more tempting everyday. Nothing seems to matter because you are obviously a non-entity. Why bother about putting in some extra time at work, why bother to cook when you can grab a burger, why bother to walk when you can take a cab??? Know this feeling?
And the mind boggling fact is, your life if seen by an outsider would seem exactly the same to him now and before. Why then the puffy eyes, anger fits, morose lethargy, he would wonder. All that has changed is that you have stopped fighting. Giving up seems much less work than working to make things work. When you find yourself spiralling down, ever down, into depression… Step back and take a deep breath. Step out from your daily routine and do something, anything new. Go and meet some old friend who makes you laugh. Go to the beauty shop and get a new haircut. Catch a bus to a place whose streets you have never explored before. But it has to be a new experience. And it has to be something simple and inexpensive. Also stuffing your face with doughnuts and fries when you do this, automatically disqualifies you 🙂
Right, take your time, give yourself time and think about what you mean to do next only after you have smiled and laughed with your lips, your eyes and your heart. Then decide, what next. Sometimes one teeny change is all it takes.

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