Tag Archives: positivity

Of nobodies and somebodies..

Know those times when you do not have the energy even to cry? Anything and everything seems determined to go against you. Partner, family, job… Seeing some friend’s smiling profile on FB, hearing about your second cousin’s latest bundle of joy, seeing a relatives status update posted holidaying in some exotic place… Everything slowly and exquisitely drags you towards the realisation of your absolute failure in… Failure in everything, of course. Thoughts of ending one life suddenly stop terrifying you and become more tempting everyday. Nothing seems to matter because you are obviously a non-entity. Why bother about putting in some extra time at work, why bother to cook when you can grab a burger, why bother to walk when you can take a cab??? Know this feeling?
And the mind boggling fact is, your life if seen by an outsider would seem exactly the same to him now and before. Why then the puffy eyes, anger fits, morose lethargy, he would wonder. All that has changed is that you have stopped fighting. Giving up seems much less work than working to make things work. When you find yourself spiralling down, ever down, into depression… Step back and take a deep breath. Step out from your daily routine and do something, anything new. Go and meet some old friend who makes you laugh. Go to the beauty shop and get a new haircut. Catch a bus to a place whose streets you have never explored before. But it has to be a new experience. And it has to be something simple and inexpensive. Also stuffing your face with doughnuts and fries when you do this, automatically disqualifies you 🙂
Right, take your time, give yourself time and think about what you mean to do next only after you have smiled and laughed with your lips, your eyes and your heart. Then decide, what next. Sometimes one teeny change is all it takes.

When wishes shouldn’t come true..

Have you ever wished anybody the worst? We all do that at times, right? An impossible boss, an infuriating relative or just someone who always hurts your feelings… Somebody should hurt them or that they should have a fall or an accident even! We can’t help having such thoughts and at times even desperately hoping that they come true. Some people just have that effect on you. But what if such wishes really came true? What if something really happened to that person because you wished it to?? I do not think I would be able to live with the guilt! The other day, I had visited a hospital and was waiting outside in the parking area. Just then, the hospital doors swung open and a couple of people stepped out. There was a young woman barely conscious, crying silently. A young man grimly supported her towards a waiting car. There was an old lady wailing, tottering in a daze, with a handkerchief covering her streaming eyes. They had just seen death! The aura was so powerful that I couldn’t help the sudden tears that came to my eyes. At that moment, I prayed to God to never accept any of my wishes which asked for something bad to happen to someone. However, much they deserve it. Its one thing to imagine but the reality… the reality is something else entirely. I would not want anything like that on my head, ever! So, I decided if there are people for whom I cannot wish well that is fine, they do not deserve to be in my prayers. But I will also not wish harm to them. They are just not worth any space in my head. What do you think?

Reflection

I twist and look at my reflection from the corner of my eye,

Chubby arms, double chin and love handles is all I see;

I look at the lovely dress, I am supposed to be trying,

And mentally calculate the quantity of corsets it would require;

A lovely model looks at me disapprovingly from a poster on the door,

She is glorious in her flat stomach and stick thin arms;

I sigh as I open the door,

Attired in the beautiful dress which I make unbeautiful;

‘Mommy is a princess’, squeals my little daughter,

And that is when it hits me,

Fat is beautiful too!